John Green Reads Poetry

H: John, how’re you doing?

J: I’m doing well. It’s cold here, so I thought I would read a poem about spring when it comes time for me to read my poem, but I don’t want to talk too much today. How are you doing?

H: I’m good. I’m afraid if you don’t want to talk too much because that means I’ll have to talk more which is scary for me and I don’t really know how to do it. I know how to talk the amount that I currently talk and not more than that. I feel like not talking is easier than talking more, I could be wrong. Other than that, I’m doing well. My life is good. I’ve got friends staying in my house and I just got back from the East Coast which was a very weird and fun trip.

J: Well, Hank, I mentioned how much we talk because we’ve just received an email from Peter Dressel who, with his sister Maggie, have put together a public report, a scientific article on the question of who talks more in episodes of Dear Hank and John. I’ll just read you the abstract, it contains most of the relevant information.

“Since Hank and John have had several arguments about who talks more in the podcast, we figured we would relisten to the episodes and keep track. The results show that John indisputably talks more.”

H: Yeah, uhhuh.

J: I’m a little surprised. I always thought that I was the, you know, the quiet, but surprisingly intelligent one. It turns out that I’m the talkative stupid one.

H: What were the numbers? How does it break down?

J: Basically for every one minute that I am talking, you talk for 47 seconds. I’m gonna put the whole thing online. You can look at the Twitter, Twitter John Green. I don’t think that’s actually… If you type in Twitter John Green into Google I bet it’ll find me. And you can see the results for yourself. It’s an extremely complicated and compelling piece of work that Peter and Maggie put together in their spare time, so thanks very much to these two students at the University of Iowa, both of whom are clearly geniuses.

H: Well that it — seems like it’s a fair amount of work to do and I appreciate them doing it so that I can feel validated and under-appreciated. I’m sure that everyone out there wishes they got just as much Hank as they got John if not a little more. 

J: Well Hank speaking of which, would you like a short poem for today?

H: Let’s do that. I guess, you know, you’re gonna talk more because you do the short poem. 

J: Oh yeah, no they accounted for that they said I still talk more even without the short poem.

H: Oh okay.

J: So don’t you worry. I’m the talkative one. I’m gonna read you an E.E. Cummings poem that if I can find it in my E.E. Cummings poem book that I’ve had since high school and it’s got — it’s essentially got all of the poems dog-eared because, you know, at different times in my life I’ve liked different poems, but this– given the weather I thought this one would be perfect.

(Reads poem)

J: The E.E. Cummings poem often known as “oh sweet spontaneous” as that is its first line, but yeah, sweet spontaneous… life… that only gives us spring. We want more, but spring is what we get in this world, Hank. Not however for several months if the weather outside in Indianapolis is any indication.

H: I would imagine not, also if just the way that the months work is any indication. I mean it’s gonna be a while. I take a little bit of issue with the fact that science has prodded the earth with its thumb and E.E. Cummings thinks that we have only found spring when in fact, we have found a great deal many useful things.

J: Oh you’ve gotta give E.E. Cummings a little bit of poetic license, Hank, that’s all I can say.

H: Well what is– yeah what does he mean?

J: I think he means that, you know, scientists prod Earth and, you know, they may discover many things but the beau… they don’t the beau… I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know that I agree with that part of the poem, actually. Can we move on to questions from our listeners?

H: Maybe the true gift that the earth gives– we’re just finding things out about the earth– but the thing that it will give us is the spring.

J: Whether we like it or not, spring is coming. But first! Winter is coming.

H: That’s the sequel to The Song of Ice and Fire– Spring is Coming.

J: Yes, the last book will be called, “Spring is Coming!” –exclamation point, and it will just be full of happiness and joy, and the mother of dragons will live happily with King Joffrey and everything will work out wonderfully.

H: (laughs) Oh gosh, they should just be kids and make out… in cars.

J: Like in my books. No we tried to make those movies, they aren’t quite as popular. Let’s answer some questions from listeners.

O sweet spontaneous
earth how often have
the
doting

fingers of
prurient philosophers pinched
and
poked

thee
, has the naughty thumb
of science prodded
thy

beauty, how
often have religions taken
thee upon their scraggy knees
squeezing and

buffeting thee that thou mightest conceive
gods
(but
true

to the incomparable
couch of death thy
rhythmic
lover

thou answer-est

them only with

spring)